There Goes My Life --JAX AND TARA--
by skriley316
Summary: What happens when Tara could never get out of Charming for school? What will happen with Jax and Tara as a couple? Sucky summary, story is better.. Xx I DO NOT OWN SOA OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS! xX rated T for language... some chapters later on may be rated M.
1. Chapter 1

**TARA POV**

I was utterly mortified. Less than two weeks ago I graduated from Charming H.S. and one week ago Jax got his G.E.D certificate from online schooling. What was so mortifying about that? I found out the day after I told him I'd be leaving in September for college that I was pregnant. My medical life was put on hold indefinitely, if not forever. Jax and I were just 18. We weren't ready to be parents. Especially now that he hated me for trying to leave, I couldn't imagine raising a kid with him. I hopped into my Dad's Cutlass and made the most dreadful drive of my life to T.M. When I parked, I could see Gemma in her office. I would tell her first. She loved me for bringing the part of Jax that died with Thomas back alive. She was like the mother I never had since mine died when I was four. I slowly walked into her office, passing Jax working on a Honda Civic. He looked over at me, but I couldn't bring myself to actually make eye contact with him. When I got inside, Gemma was sitting at her desk doing paperwork.

_"Gemma, can I talk to you about something?"_

_"Sure honey. Shut the door and sit down."_

She seemed rather content- Jax must have kept my going away a secret for the time being.

_"I-I really don't know how to put it..."_

_"What is it Tara? You can tell me anything, you know that..."_

_"Well... I wasn't feeling good this morning. Actually I threw up my entire breakfast."_

_"Oh honey, I got some tums and pepto."_

_"No... It's not that Gemma. I'm pregnant. I sat there on the bathroom floor thinking what could have caused the sickness... It was the middle of February when I last had my period. Now it's the end of May... I'm like three and half months late."_

_"Jesus..."_

_"Yeah. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph."_

_"What does Jax say about it?"_

_"I haven't told him yet. I mean I just got here. I stopped at the pharmacy on the way here and took a pregnancy test. Well, I took three actually. They're all positive."_

_"Well he's got to know."_

_"He's mad at me... I told him yesterday that I'd be going to medical school in San Diego starting in September. He totally flipped his shit on me. Clearly I can't go now. I can't raise a baby on my own."_

_"Would you like me to call him in here?"_

_"Yeah sure. Maybe you can keep him calm enough to not scream in my face like he did yesterday."_

_"It's gonna be okay Tara. I'm here to help, with anything and everything."_

_"Thanks momma Gemma."_

She got up and stuck her head through the door, yelling for Jax to come. All my nerves went to the back of my throat. I felt like I was gonna get sick again. He came in and sat on the opposite side away from me.

_"Jax, Tara has something she'd like to tell you."_

He already looked so pissed, and I was choking back tears.

_"What is it Tara?"_

_"I-I'm late... My period is late."_

_"WHAT?!"_

_"I'm pregnant..." _

I handed him the brown paper bag that had the three pregnancy tests in it. He took them all out and looked at them.

_"I can't do this. I'm not cut out to be a dad. We aren't even together anymore. Remember, you're leaving?"_

I couldn't control my tears anymore and just broke down, sobbing. Gemma slammed the door, obvious that she was frustrated.

_"Jackson Nathaniel Teller. You out of anyone should know what it's like to have a father walk out on you. He left you behind when he travelled back and forth to Belfast. Tara isn't going anywhere and as long as you live in my house, you'll obey my orders. Time to man up and be a father to the child your upset girlfriend is carrying. If you didn't want to be a dad, you should've kept your dick in your pants. Now take Tara back to my place, and cheer her up. I'll tell Clay you had an emergency to take care of. I want you to go to Tara's house and pack all her things up. She's not going to be living with that abusive drunk anymore."_

I looked up at Gemma. If anything, I'd want her to deal with me when I'm upset, not Jax. He scared the hell out of me when he was angry.

"_I'll be fine Gemma. My dad's house is just fine."_

"_He'll keep beating you and kill my grandchild. I won't allow that to happen. The spare bedroom will work just fine for you. There's a good bed in there and there is a bathroom inside it."_

Jax looked at me, his face a bit softer than before.

"_Come on Tara, I'll take you home."_

Gemma had given Jax the keys to her Escalade to drive me to my dad's to get my stuff then back to Gemma, Clay, and Jax's house.

"_Jax, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to happen. I still love you... I really do. And I'm sorry I never really talked to you about college. I thought you'd be happy for me."_

"_Happy that you're leaving me after us being inseparable since we were 16... Call me crazy, but I find no happiness in that."_

"_That's selfish... I was trying to establish a career for me."_

"_There are plenty of colleges around here for you to go to."_

"_Yeah, well I'm not going to spend my freshman year of college knocked up on campus. I'll just do online schooling. It'll be free because of my GPA."_

"_Well isn't that swell..."_

"_Jax, oh my god... We can still be a couple. I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here in Charming with you. We'll have our baby together and Gemma can always help out."_

He sat me down on the bed, sitting next to me.

"_I love you Tara. As long as you don't try to leave me again, I'll do anything for you, and when our baby is born, it too."_

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**~Review please!~**

I changed it from a series of one-shots to an actual story... I really liked how many ideas I was getting for it.


	2. Chapter 2

**JAX POV**

I got home around 2 in the morning. I was at the clubhouse for the typical SAMCRO party. I didn't even really party though... No drinking or smoking pot for once. I just had so much on my mind. I couldn't believe Tara was pregnant... I couldn't believe my child was inside her. I walked past her bedroom door softly to not wake her, although I could hear a faint sound coming from her room, almost like she was crying. I knocked on the door.

"_C-Come in..."_

_I slowly opened the door. She was faced away from me, with her head in the pillow._

"_Tara... Are you okay babe?"_

"_I'm fine. Just tired."_

"_So tired, you're crying?"_

"_Jax..."_

"_I'm sorry I've been such an ass to you. I know you're as scared as I am. But I'm here for you and here for the baby, I promise."_

"_I love you Jax."_

Tara rolled over to look at me. Her eyelashes were wet from tears and her skin was blotchy from crying.

"_I love you too Tara. Want me to stay in here with you tonight?_

"_Only if you want to..."_

"_Of course."_

"_Jax, I was only crying 'cause I thought you hated me. Yesterday you had got all in my face and was screaming at me, then today you were freaking out that you weren't ready to be a dad."_

"_I know. I'm so sorry. I had no right to do that. I'll make it up to you, that I promise."_

"_Okay, it's alright."_

I took my kutte off, then my shirt and jeans, crawling in bed next to Tara in just my boxers. That's how I normal slept. Just boxers or naked. I figured I'd contain the white mamba for tonight since Tara was not in the mood. I pulled Tara close into my arms, kissing her face. Then I lifted up the t-shirt that she was in. You could definitely see a rounded stomach. How could I have missed that? We just had sex three days ago. I placed my hand on her bump gently.

"_Tomorrow we can go up to St. Thomas and get you checked out, you know, measurements and sonograms and all that baby stuff."_

"_I have no money or health insurance."_

"_I'll pay out of pocket for the time being then I'll get us all squared away with the different insurances we need. I'll get us our own place before the baby comes too. It'll be close to here so Gramma Gemma can help watch the kid when it's born. But I'd like for us to have our own space to be a real family. Plus with you living with me now, it's weird for us to constantly be having sex if my parents are three doors down."_

"_That's true. I'll talk to Gemma in the morning about getting a job at T.M... I can help her with paperwork and errands and things like that. Even if it's not a lot of money, it is still something to help out."_

"_I got us covered."_

"_I won't bum off you Jax... I'm not that kind of woman."_

"_Okay love, good night."_

"_Night, baby."_

She fell asleep curled up close in my arms. Everything would eventually be okay... As scary as it seemed.

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**~Reviews please!~**


	3. Chapter 3

**GEMMA POV**

I couldn't sleep last night. I gave up trying to sleep around 6 in the morning. I went into my sun room and took care of the plants I had in there. I still hadn't told Clay about Tara being pregnant. He was too drunk after last night's party so when we got back home, he just passed out in bed. Once I got done tending to the plants, I went into the kitchen and started making breakfast. Clay came shuffling in, sitting in his normal spot at the table, so I poured him a cup of coffee.

"_Morning baby."_

"_Mornin' Gem."_

"_Hungry."_

"_Yeah. Where's princey? I don't remember him coming home last night."_

"_You probably don't remember much of anything after your 5th shot last night... Jax went home before us though. Tara is pregnant, Clay."_

"_What?"_

"_Yeah... You must of covered the protection talk with Jax so well when he was 14. She's like 3 months along, maybe more."_

"_Jesus..."_

"_That's why I got her to move in here. You know her dad is an abusive drunk. Plus they're gonna need help when the baby comes."_

"_Gem... They can't have the baby living here. They're 18 now... They need to grow up and get a place of their own."_

"_I know that."_

Just then, Jax came down the stairs.

"_Mom, what helps with morning sickness? Tara's up there puking her brains out."_

"_It's all just a part of being pregnant. I'll make her some toast and get her a glass of ginger-ale. She'll be fine."_

"_Okay, thanks. Mornin' Clay."_

"_Morning son. Good job knocking Tara up. Hope you're ready for it."_

"_Not exactly, but we're getting there."_

**TARA POV**

I was so disgusted with myself. This morning sickness was terrible. The acidic taste in my mouth just wouldn't go away. Jax came back upstairs with a glass of ginger-ale.

"_Here babe, this should help."_

I downed it all and then brushed my teeth.

"_Thanks... God this is so gross..."_

"_It'll go away soon. Did you sleep good last night?"_

"_After cuddling up to you, I don't remember anything, so I guess so."_

He smiled softly at me.

"_Well that's good."_

"_I need to shower now..."_

"_And so do I."_

I swear, all Jax ever thinks about when it comes to me is sex.

"_I'm not in the mood for sex... Especially two minutes after I was puking."_

"_We don't have to have sex..."_

"_Okay then."_

**JAX POV**

We stripped down and got in her shower. I couldn't help but look down at her stomach. It seemed so noticeable now. Her stomach was rounded even though her hips still stuck out. She looked down at it too, then just started sob. I pulled her close and wrapped my arms around her.

"_Tara, it's okay babe..."_

"_I'm scared Jax... I can't do this."_

"_I'm scared too babe but we'll get through this together. You definitely can do it... We can do it. I'm here every step of the way."_

I pulled her out of the shower after that, wrapping a towel around each of us.

"_I'll let you get dressed. Then my mom has breakfast ready when you are."_

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	4. Chapter 4

**TARA POV**

After breakfast, Clay told Jax the club was meeting with the Bastards for some kind of exchange, so they left before Gemma and I did. Gemma agreed to hire me. I'd be like her assistant with everything, which worked out fine for me. When we got to T.M, she started out with paperwork while she had me alphabetize the files she had.

"_Gemma, can I ask you something about you and J.T?"_

"_Depends on what that is, sweetheart."_

"_You said when you came back to Charming at 18, you had a biker boyfriend and a baby on the way. How did you raise a baby around all this? And with J.T and the guys always out doing shit that gets the hurt or locked up?"_

"_Well, more times than not, I felt like a single mom. John loved me, I know that. But the older we got, we just got disconnected. Then he was starting SAMBEL and was gone a lot. Then when Thomas died, it was like he died too. He never really cared if Jax and I were around him. He spent more time in Belfast than he did here with his family."_

"_That's terrible."_

"_The thing that sucked the most was that it was my normal. That's all I knew. The club hurt me a lot of times, emotionally, but it kept me protected. It kept my sons protected. All the guys helped out when J.T had his accident. You were around for that. You were Jax's savior. Clay was mine."_

"_That's really scary Gemma. It's like I'm reliving what you went through. Pregnant at 18... The biker boyfriend. I don't want Jax to grow apart from me. I want him to be around for me and our baby. I'm not that mentally strong like you. Up until I started dating Jax, I was so alone. Now I've gotten used to always having someone around."_

"_Jax won't go anywhere. He listens to me. He loves you Tara. Like I said, you saved him when J.T died. You mean more to him than you'll ever know. Just as long as you can learn to love the club as much as you love him, you'll be okay."_

"_There is still that fear I have..."_

"_Tara... You got the crow tattooed on you. It's time for you to be the ride or die old lady I know you are. It's hard for you right now because you are so young, and becoming a mother, and being an old lady to a club member makes you grow up way faster than you should. I've done it all. It'll be just fine. Jax is a good man, he'll take care of you."_

"_I know he is..."_

The next three hours went on uneventful, that is until all the motorcycles rolled up. Most of the guys were bloodied in one way or another. Jax had a nice black eye growing with a busted eyebrow. Clay's lip was busted, and his knuckles were swollen and bleeding.

"_Jax, what happened?"_

"_Just a first time meeting with the Mayans. They have mouths the size of Mexico."_

"_Are you okay?"_

"_I just need to get my eyebrow cleaned up, then we need to go to your ultrasound."_

"_I'll butterfly your eyebrow shut, and get the blood wiped off."_

"_Great."_

**JAX POV**

Once Tara fixed my eyebrow up, I borrowed Mom's car to take her to the hospital for her ultrasound. Tara got some male doctor that seemed like a stuck up prick. He kept watching me like I was going to kill him, which I wouldn't unless I had to. I held Tara's hand the entire time while he measured her stomach, weighed her, then performed the actual sonogram. He said that she was 16 weeks along. And that if we paid an extra $60, he'd figure out the gender for us. Tara wanted us to just wait another two weeks to find out for free, but it didn't matter the money to me. He found the baby's legs and between it was a baby penis. We were going to have a boy. Tara got really happy, thankfully. I handed her the $110 to go and pay for today's appointment while I gathered the paperwork and her belonging from the room. The doctor had stayed behind with me, "busying" himself with pointless things. As I went to walk out, he called my name.

"_Jax, I know who you are. You're Clay Morrow's boy, and a part of the M.C... You know, I'd really hate to see your ego and reputation around here deprive that baby boy of a father."_

As soon as I realized what he said, flames of anger ripped through my body.

"_You know what I'd really hate? If you had teeth left in your mouth."_

"_What?"_

I slammed him up against the wall, then punched him in the mouth as hard as I could.

"_That's what."_

"_That's assault! I'm gonna have you arrested!"_

He was spitting blood. I got him good.

"_I bet you will. I'll be waiting."_

I walked out of the room, and met up with Tara by the front desk. With the pictures of our baby boy in my hand, we went home to show Gemma. Later on that night, Unser came to the house right as we were all sitting down for dinner. We had a good alliance with him after the many times he let Tara and I loose when we were minors.

"_Jax, I got a police report for your fun you had with Dr. Perkins this afternoon."_

"_Okay, and?"_

"_You assaulted him. You broke his two front teeth."_

"_Well damn, I must have not hit him hard enough."_

"_What made you do that?"_

"_He runs his mouth too much. It had to end."_

Tara and Gemma were both looking shocked.

"_I know Perkins is a dick, but let's not punch him in the mouth, alright? I'm only not taking you in because I know how he is. But if this happens again..."_

"_It's not going to, you don't have to worry."_

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**~Reviews please! I'll update more tomorrow.~**


	5. Chapter 5

**CLAY POV**

The next day, Gemma and I had decided to take each of them out one on one to catch up and talk about how things would be like with Tara living with us now. I didn't really mind Tara living with us. She's a nice, smart, strong-willed girl... She is also the exact opposite of Jax- I think that's why they are so good together. I decided to take Jax out for brunch at the 24 hour mom and pop buffet place.

"_Jax, your mom and I feel we need to discuss a few ground rules now that your baby momma is living with us."_

"_We won't be for long... I'm gonna buy me and Tara a house."_

"_Yes, I know, but for the time being, there needs to be some rules..."_

"_Okay, that's fine."_

"_You guys each do your fair share around the house... Help with grocery shopping, cook dinner once or twice a week..."_

"_We've been doing that for two years already."_

"_Just one main one... No pussy under the same roof as your mother."_

"_What about if she's not home?"_

I couldn't help but laugh.

"_What drives you to want to have sex in your mom's house?"_

"_Hormones... They sure do..."_

"_I don't really care if she's not home, but I don't want to have to hear about that shit from her if she hears you two."_

"_Got it."_

**GEMMA POV**

Since Clay took Jax out to eat, I decided Tara and I could start shopping for baby stuff. We were in Babies R Us, looking at all the boy stuff. I told her to pick out any furniture she wanted and I'd buy it for her. You could tell her mind wasn't all there for it.

"_Penny for your thoughts?"_

She looked up at me hesitantly.

"_I'm just scared, that's all."_

"_What are you scared of honey?"_

"_I don't know... Everything really... The baby... My future... Jax... I mean, the doctor made one comment about him bailing as a father, and Jax punched him in the mouth. How am I supposed to talk to him about any fears or worries I have with the baby, or even just normal everyday things? I don't fear Jax, but I fear his reactions. I know Jax would never hurt me, but he doesn't hesitate hurting other people that make him angry. One of these days, that temper is going to get him into trouble that Unser won't be able to clean up, then Jax is going to go away, and I'll be left all alone with our son to raise."_

"_I know honey. You just have to talk to him about it... We all can when we leave here, okay? He won't get crazy."_

"_Alright, I guess that's fine."_

We got the crib, changing table, and rocker that she picked out, and drove home. Jax and Clay were inside watching football.

"_Boys, let's go sit at the table for a snack or something and we can all talk for a bit."_

**TARA POV**

Gemma set out a platter of crackers and cheese, but I just couldn't eat. I was too nervous on how our conversation would go. Gemma spoke up first.

"_Jax... I didn't say much about it last night because I didn't want to make the situation worse than it already was at that point, but... You have to control your anger. Tara's scared half to death to talk to you now..."_

Here came the tears. I couldn't hold them back. Jax looked up at me with a hurt expression on his face.

"_Is that true Tara?"_

I couldn't bring myself to even look at him. I just sat there with my head down, crying. Clay cleared his throat.

"_Now that you have a son on the way, you need to learn to control your temper and be more responsible."_

"_You guys are just ganging up on me!"_

Jax slammed his hands down on the table, then stood up to leave. I saw Clay shove Jax back down to his chair. He stood up again then so did Clay. They were face to face.

"_Sit down son."_

"_You aren't my father!"_

Jax shoved passed Clay, and he went to stop him again, but Gemma told him to just let it go. As soon as Jax went to gather his things to leave, I ran over to the trashcan and started puking. Jax just looked at me, and went by the door. Clay got angry.

"_You just gonna leave your sick girlfriend here, you selfish prick?!"_

Jax walked out, slamming the door behind him.

**GEMMA POV**

My son was such a dick sometimes. Tara was balling her eyes out after getting sick. Clay walked her over to the couch and laid her down to rest. I got her a glass of ginger ale and some crackers for her to eat after she calmed down. She slowly had drifted off to sleep. Clay and I curled up on the other couch watching TV while we waited for Jax to get home. About two and half or three hours had passed and he finally walked through. He looked so ashamed in himself for once again letting his temper get the best of him, and also for walking out on Tara especially while she was sick and upset.

"_I'm sorry guys. I didn't mean all that."_

Clay just gave him the nod of acceptance, then Jax scooped Tara up into his arms. She woke up briefly.

"_Jax?"_

"_Shh baby I got you."_

Jax carried Tara up to her room, that was pretty much now both of theirs.

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**~Reviews please!~**


	6. Chapter 6

**JAX POV**

To hear that Tara was scared of me, even to just talk to me killed me... I'd never intentionally hurt her. She was my everything. She kept a constant happiness around for me. I hated myself for walking out on her when she was getting sick, but my rage was just too much at the moment to deal with anything. I had to get away and cool off. I had just gone to Opie's. We ate dinner and played video games. Once I was cooled off, I missed Tara, and knowing I had left her crying and vomiting made me race back home to her. When I got back home, I walked into the living room and there she was asleep. I apologized to my parents then carried Tara up to our room.

"_Jax?"_

"_Shh baby I got you."_

I laid her down on the bed, then changed into some sweatpants and a clean SAMCRO shirt, then got underneath the covers on my side, and pulled her close to me.

"_Tara, you don't have to be afraid of me... The reason why I punched the doctor was because not only did he mouth off about me, it was about the club, and our son. Our family and the club is all that I have, and I'll protect both at all costs."_

"_I'm not scared of you, just how you act with others... I can't have you in jail when this baby comes..."_

"_Abel."_

"_What?"_

"_What do you think of the name Abel?"_

"_For our son?"_

"_No, our daughter... Yes babe, our son... Abel Nathaniel Teller."_

"_That's cute, you guys will have the same middle name."_

"_Yep."_

"_I love you Jax. I really do."_

"_I know Tara. I love you, and now Abel, more than anything."_

**TARA POV**

The next morning, I got up with Jax already in the shower. I barged in, again getting sick with morning sickness. He finished up quickly, and got a towel wrapped around himself so he could help me out.

"_I'm fine Jax..."_

"_Need anything babe?"_

"_I'm just gonna brush my teeth then get in the shower... Although if you can make me some chocolate chip pancakes, Abel and I would greatly appreciate it."_

"_Chocolate chip pancakes, coming right up. Do you want to tell Gemma our name for him or would you like me to?"_

"_Just wait until later when we head up to T.M... We can tell everyone all at once."_

"_Okay, that's fine too."_

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**~I know this is short... I just wanted them to be happy again before tonight's episode comes on... Really hope they pull through this season... Review please!~**


	7. Chapter 7

**TARA POV**

Jax woke me up in the middle of the night around 4. He said that the club was on lock down and that he needed to get me to the clubhouse as fast as possible.

"_Just leave me here with Gemma... We'll be safe."_

"_The Mayans will try for the women first. Plus, Gemma is already at the clubhouse with Clay. Come on."_

"_Jax..."_

"_Don't be stubborn, think of Abel. Now let's go."_

I got up and changed into a tank top and sweatpants instead of just one of Jax's shirts. I decided I'd spare the club of having to see my body like that. He rushed me out the door, then drove me to T.M really fast. Way to keep a low profile. When we got there, Opie and his girlfriend Donna, and Gemma were standing at the bar. When Donna saw me, she grinned.

"_Want a shot, Tara?"_

"_Um, no thanks."_

"_Come on, don't be a wuss."_

"_I'm pregnant, I'm not a wuss."_

"_You're pregnant?! Since when?"_

"_Since February, I guess."_

"_Well congrats! Ha ha Jax, now you're trapped with her 'til the kid is 18."_

"_Oh my god, thanks Donna."_

"_I'm kidding, you know I love you girl."_

"_Okay sure, drink a little more why don't you."_

Jax pulled me away to the couch.

"_Tara, she didn't mean that."_

"_Who the hell even gets drunk at 4 in the morning?"_

"_I've done it..."_

"_We were just sleeping, hush."_

"_Okay, well are you gonna go sleep in the apartment? I have to monitor outside while Clay and the rest of all them are gone dealing with the bullshit."_

"_I'm kind of awake now... I don't think I can sleep at this point."_

"_Stay inside please?"_

"_We'll see."_

Jax gave me a kiss then left to be outside with Opie. I was messing around with the jukebox when Gemma came over, putting her hands on my stomach.

"_How is my grandson?"_

"_He's actually been moving around a lot since the doctors pressed all over my stomach at the ultrasound, so I'd say hyper."_

"_Good... It's important to feel him move."_

"_I know."_

"_You should sleep honey."_

"_The baby is already awake again, there will be no sleeping. How about a cup of coffee?"_

"_I'll go make a pot, I have a feeling we'll be here for a while."_

"_What even happened Gemma?"_

"_Mayans shot up our warehouse. Nearly everything is ruined. And they stole a bunch of our guns."_

"_What the hell."_

"_Exactly."_

I waited around until the pot of coffee was made, then got a cup for myself, and took one out to Jax. It was a bit passed five in the morning now, and the sun was just about to rise.

"_Jax, let's watch the sunrise."_

"_Tara, I can't... Club duties."_

My pregnancy hormones kicked in, and I started to cry. I hated it.

"_P-Please? I j-just want to s-spend time w-with you."_

Jax sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

"_We'll have to go to the rooftop and watch it there so I can still see the entire lot. Just please no tears."_

I wiped my eyes.

"_I know, I'm sorry. I can't control them."_

"_I know you can't, now let's go."_

We used the ladder and went up to the same place we spent many summer nights there when I'd run away from my dad. We sat there together with Jax's arms around me and our cups of coffee in our hand, not to mention the semi-automatic rifle by our feet.

"_Nothing says good morning Charming more than semi-automatic rifles, right Jax?"_

He smiled and kissed my cheek.

"_Of course baby."_

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**~Reviews please!~**


	8. Chapter 8

**TARA POV**

I stayed laying in Jax's arms until the sun was up all the way. I went back into the clubhouse to go use the restroom and to get more coffee. When I was pouring another cup, I saw on the cameras this one truck that was speeding up the road, then slammed into the gate we had to keep people out. They got in, and running for the clubhouse, armed. All I could think of was Jax. I had to get to him to protect me. I wasn't ready for this. Gemma and everyone else screamed and ran for the apartments, but I ran for the ladder. I made it to the roof when Jax all but shoved me onto the ground, and told me to stay down and not make a single word... My right shoulder blade started to sting a lot, along with my right forearm. When I looked at my forearm, I was bleeding, so my shoulder probably was too. I didn't even have enough time to say anything to Jax because all of a sudden, there was gunshot after gunshot, both from Jax and from the Mayans. I curled up into a ball, and covered my face, and plugged my ears. I was so scared. I couldn't help but cry. When it got quiet, I felt him pull me up by my left arm. I was just too scared and in pain to talk to him.

"_Tara, are you okay?"_

I yanked my arm away from him.

"_Please don't touch me."_

"_Why are you bleeding?"_

"_Seriously?"_

I went down the ladder as fast as I could, and Jax followed behind, but went outside on the phone with Clay, I'm sure to tell him what happened and that there was three dead Mayans in the parking lot. Opie dragged the bodies away from clear eye, and got to cleaning the blood up. Gemma, Donna, and the other girls that were just hanging around came out of the apartments and saw me. Gemma automatically rushed over to me.

"_Tara, what happened honey?"_

"_I went to Jax... I figured he'd keep me safe. He shoved me to the ground, before they even started shooting. I guess I just skinned my shoulder and arm on the fall down."_

"_Did you fall on your stomach? Are you in any pain besides your arm and shoulder? Is the baby okay?"_

"_I fell on my back, kind of, and tried to break the fall with my arm. I'm fine."_

I wiped the tears off my face, and got the first aid kit from behind the bar. I started to use the alcohol wipes to clean the cut on my arm. Gemma walked back over to me.

"_Let me help you."_

"_I got it Gemma. I'm fine."_

"_Unless you have rubberband arms, you can't get your shoulder. Don't be stubborn like Jax, and just let me help you."_

"_Okay, that's fine." _

We got my forearm wrapped in gauze, and my shoulder all bandaged up. Jax walked in and looked straight at me. I got up and walked to his apartment, knowing he'd follow. I sat down on the bed, and he sat beside me.

"_Tara, I'm sorry."_

"_I'm fine. The baby is fine."_

"_I didn't mean to slam you down. I just wanted you to get down before they started shooting."_

"_I was just more scared than anything else. I just wanted you to protect me."_

"_And I did."_

"_I'm sure there is a more gentle approach to it then letting me get all scrapped up. You're lucky I fell on my back, or else we could've lost the baby."_

"_Shit, I totally forgot about that."_

_"Well that is soooo comforting. I'm going to take a nap now. I know you have to deal with the bodies."_

_"Are you mad at me?"_

_"Can we talk later? I've gotten four hours of sleep. I'm tired."_

_"Fine."_

Jax tucked me in, kissed me on the forehead, then left after shutting the door.

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**~Reviews please!~**


	9. Chapter 9

**JAX POV**

Once we got done with the club shit, and the lock down was over, I went into my apartment in the clubhouse to wake Tara up. She had been asleep for about 4 or 5 hours now. When I went in there, she was curled up in a little ball, still deeply asleep. Her bandage on her back was bled through, so I went out to get the first aid. When I returned, she was spread out over the entire bed. It was so funny. She never ever moved this much when I was in bed with her. I sat between an arm and a leg, then stroked her face gently, then started to rub her lower back.

"_Darlin', time to wake up. If you sleep all day, you won't sleep tonight."_

She looked at me and rolled over onto her back, wincing when her right shoulder hit it.

"_Ouch."_

"_I know... We gotta change it out. It's almost bled through all the way."_

"_Jesus... Go get Gemma, she knows how to do it."_

"_I got it babe, just sit up really quick."_

She did as I said, and I kissed her neck before carefully removing the bandage, swapping it out with a new one.

"_Thanks baby."_

"_Welcome... I was thinking... Maybe we can get out of here for a few days. So much stress isn't good when you're pregnant. Plus we've had Clay and Gemma breathing down our necks at home, it'd be nice to get away for a bit."_

"_I really like that idea Jax. Where can we go?"_

"_Not sure. Maybe to the beach?"_

"_I don't want to get a tan line of my bandages..."_

"_Okay, well maybe we can just go stay at some resort."_

"_Do you have money for that?"_

"_I have enough for you to not worry about anything right now."_

"_Then let's pack and go. You gonna get the hitch on trailer for your Harley?"_

"_Mom's letting me use her Cadillac."_

"_Yeah, she probably has a tracker on it to come check up on us in the middle of the night like we're little kids."_

She seemed annoyed.

"_Babe..."_

"_Sorry, I'll stop. I'm just hungry."_

"_Then lets grab a bite to eat, alright?" _

"_I need a new bra too. Abel is making me spill out of mine."_

"_You could always just not wear one... It'd be fine by me."_

I smirked at her and she giggled before jokingly shoving me.

"_You're such a dog."_

"_Woof woof?"_

Later on, after packing and loading up the car, we stopped at Target so we could get some food for the road, and for Tara to get the things she needed. After helping her get what was needed, we headed to the grocery section to get some food and drinks for our trip. I left her with the cart while I went to the bathroom. When I was walking back, I saw Tara totally flirting it up with some littler twerp. I felt my blood start to boil in anger, but I had to swallow it down. Tara had already told me many times I had to control my temper, plus I didn't want her to be scared of me anymore. I put on a smile and walked over to her, resting my hand on her lower back.

"_Hey babe, find all that you were looking for?"_

The guy looked at me and interjected.

"_Umm, I was talking to her first."_

"_Oh really? Because she's my girlfriend so..."_

_I started to push the cart and pull Tara away, but the dumbass followed._

"_You don't control her."_

I was sizing him up now, trying my best to stay calm for Tara.

"_Back off man."_

"_Or what?"_

Tara wedged herself between us.

"_That's enough boys. C' mon Jax."_

Boys? Seriously? Maybe he was, but I'm a grown man. I swallowed my pride, and started to walk away with Tara.

"_Babe... Don't flirt with other guys. Especially when I'm not around. If I can't do that with other girls, you can't do that with me."_

"_Oh come on, it was just a little innocent play."_

"_Yeah, well you need to stay more guarded. Guys are pigs. They only want one thing, I promise it's not your heart."_

"Oh please Jackson."

When I looked behind me, dumbass got his little buddy with him. They smirked at me.

"_Whoever wins gets the girl."_

"_No. Are you fucking high? I already have Tara. Back off you two, I mean it."_

Tara held my hand a little tighter, and tried to keep us walking. I glared back at them.

"_No. I won't back off."_

After that, it was on. I got Tara out of the way, knowing this would be an easy fight. They were shrimpy little boys, with mouths the size of Texas. They charged me but I stood my ground. After I had them both spitting blood and groaning in pain, I decided it was enough.

"_Plus guys... She's pregnant with my kid, why would you want her anyways?" _

Tara looked at me a little shocked, but I waited outside while she paid with my card.

**TARA POV**

It really bothered me what he said about why would the guys want me anyway. We stayed silent the entire drive back home. I decided it wasn't a good time for us to go away. He went to shower while I put all the groceries away, then I got two ice packs to ice his knuckles that turned red and bruised. When I made it upstairs, he was taking a shot of tequila, then sat against our headboard. I sat in bed next to him and carefully took his and set them on my lap, gently pressing the ice packs onto his hands. He winced at first, but was okay after that. We stayed quiet for a bit, but he finally spoke up.

"_I'm sorry Tara. I know I promised to control my temper. I've been such a disappointment to you lately. How am I ever supposed to be a good father if I can't even be a good boyfriend?"_

"_Because you protect me and love me unconditionally, and I know you'll do the same for our son. But listen. I'm definitely NOT disappointed in you. Baby you walked away! I was so shocked and proud at the same time. You've definitely been working on it."_

He gave me the famous Jax Teller grin.

"_You have no clue how hard that was for me. Maybe I should get a reward?"_

I giggled.

"_You were so right. Men really are pigs!"_

We cracked up together. Later on that night, we were laying together, going to bed. I looked up into his eyes.

"_What did you mean when you asked the guys why'd they want me anyways just because I'm pregnant? Does that automatically make me disgusting now? I'm sure you meant well, but it really did hurt my feelings."_

"_It wasn't like that. It was more of, you're off limits because you're having my kid. It was nothing about you. You're still my lovable, smart, ride or die biker babe. Plus, you definitely aren't disgusting. You're so gorgeous still. And let me tell you, your new rack is bangin'."_

I laughed and kissed him.

"_Thank you so much for doing what you did today. It meant a lot to me. It really showed your love for me. My 'take no shit, badass biker' walked away from a fight. You have no idea how good that makes me feel."_

"_Well to be honest with you Tara, it probably won't be like that every time."_

I gave him a half-hearted smile.

"_Can't you just take the compliment without ruining it, Jackson?"_

He gently stroked my cheek.

"_I'm serious babe. I just need to be honest to you because I hate the look in your eyes when I let you down. It tears me apart."_

"_It's okay baby. It's the thought that counts and matters. I love you so much Jax."_

"_I love you too Tara."_

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**~Reviews please~**


	10. Chapter 10

**GEMMA POV**

I was taking a day off work at T.M to relax. I had gotten up to cook breakfast for Tara and the boys, but then I went back to bed. I woke up about an hour later when I heard someone banging around. I automatically knew it was an intruder. Jax and Tara were house hunting today, and Clay was with the club. I got my pistol out of my nightstand and went down to see who the hell was in my house. Whoever the fucker who thought it was a good idea to break into the home of an outlaw MC president was about to get what was coming to him. When I went down the stairs to go into the parlor room, I got shoved. The intruder shoved me to the ground, then punched me in the face a few times, then ran for the back door. Even with blood trickling all down my face, I shot the guy in the leg. I wanted to save him for Clay and Jax. I didn't recognize the guy except he was a black man in purple, so I was guessing it was a One-Niner. I called Clay.

"_Gem, can't really talk right now. I'm watching Chibs and the prospect box each other in the ring."_

"_I was attacked baby... Some Niner I think. He busted my face pretty good, but I shot him in the leg when we was trying to run out."_

"_Shit... You okay?"_

"_Bloody... Can't say the same for the other guy. He's fading in and out of consciousness."_

"_Keep him alive Gem. I'll be right there. You talk to Jax yet?"_

"_Figured you could."_

"_Shit... Yeah, we'll be right there."_

**JAX POV**

We were just leaving a house we looked at when Clay called us saying Gemma was attacked. Tara and I raced over and got there the same time Clay was getting there. When we walked inside, Gemma's right eye and bottom lip were swollen and had been bleeding but she cleaned it up. The guy who she shot laid in front of the back door with a towel around his leg. Gemma has tied his wrists up so he couldn't go anywhere.

"_Mom, you alright?"_

"_More annoyed that he shoved me, but yep, I am fine."_

"_How long ago did it happen?"_

"_I don't know... Maybe twenty minutes ago."_

Clay looked over at Tara.

"_Know how to fix her eyebrow up?"_

"_Um, yes. I just need the first aid kit."_

"_Underneath the kitchen sink."_

Tara got busy fixing my mom up while Clay and I question the guy. His name was Nigel Roscoe, a new One-Niner. He was instructed to get all the valuables from our house to warn the Sons that they were always watching us. Clay then shot him once in the head, and hauled his body to the woods to burn. When he came back, he was ready for retaliation. I just couldn't. I had already put Tara through enough over the week, and I knew the kind of worry she got when she knew we were retaliating. The risk of one of members getting hurt was really high.

"_Come on Son. Let's go after the Niners."_

"_I can't... I need to stay with Tara."_

His face got really red. He was so angry.

"_Look at what they did to your mother!"_

I felt so conflicted... Revenge for my mom, or keeping Tara stress free since she was pregnant. I hated being put in the middle.

"_I can't Clay.. Take someone else with you."_

"_If you don't come with me, you can forget about ever becoming my V.P or ever getting the gavel."_

"_That's fine, I'm still not going."_

Mom looked at him, and just told him to leave it alone. She got changed, and grabbed her purse to go to the clubhouse with him. Clay got even madder.

"_So you're really just gonna let it slide?!"_

"_I have to take care of Tara!"_

Clay looked over at Gemma.

"_Your son has no backbone just like his father."_

I got close up into Clay's face.

"_Don't you EVER talk about my father."_

He gave me one good punch in the stomach... It hurt to breathe for a while. Tara started to cry.

"_If you ever try to get into my face like that again, I'll slit your god-damn throat."_

Gemma gasped and smacked him.

"_That's my son you're talking about!"_

"_How is that my fault?_

After that, Tara ran into the kitchen, puking her guts out into the sink. I ran behind her to hold her hair. Clay and Gemma walked through to leave. I gave Clay the meanest glare I could.

"_You're the reason she's so upset!"_

"_Oh shut the fuck up."_

The puking didn't stop until minutes after they left. Tara was exhausted, and upset. I carried her into the living room and laid her on the couch, giving her a piece of gum to get the bad taste away.

"_I'm sorry about him Tara."_

"_He's so mean to you."_

"_He's just a bit blood thirsty right now. Although, if you were the one getting attacked, I would've been the same way."_

"_It wouldn't have been that big of a deal."_

"_The hell it wouldn't... I'd beat the guy to death."_

"_Please stop Jax... Just please."_

"_Alright, alright... Sorry babe."_

"_Yeah... Its okay."_

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**~So... Last night's episode was totally devastating to me as far as the Jax-Tara perceptions go. By me seeing how realistically unhappy they were with one another, it's really made it harder for me to want to write. And why do I write a story of them being happy (most of the time) when that's really not how it is... I feel like I'm just wasting my time and energy now... Anyways please review. I'd like to see yall's comments. I feel like I really failed with this chapter... It didn't turn out how I hoped. I guess that's what happens when you write with a clouded mind~**


	11. Chapter 11

**JAX POV**

I got woken up in the middle of the night by Gemma. She looked upset and said she needed to talk. I shuffled out of bed, careful to not wake Tara, then followed her to the sun room where she had all her plants.

"_Clay wants you guys out of the house... As soon as you can. He's still really pissed, and I don't think you're safe here much longer... I was trying to talk him down some, but he just kept on drinking, and getting angrier. I wanted to tell you now since Tara and Clay are both asleep. I'll pay for a down payment on a house for you guys, but you need to pick one soon. You have a week, tops."_

"_We found a good one yesterday, but then all that happened. I'll tell the realtor to move on with the process of that. How am I supposed to tell Tara?"_

"_Tell me what?"_

She shuffled into the room. Of course she just had to wake up during the middle of this.

"_Nothing babe... We're just talking."_

"_Oh bullshit. Don't lie to me." _

Gemma walked out of the sun room and crept back into her bedroom.

"_Mom says we're not safe here anymore. Or at least I'm not. Clay's still pissed. She said we need to get our own place soon."_

"_Jesus Jax..."_

"_I'll call the realtor in the morning. You have your ultrasound too. So we'll go to that first, then meet up with her to sign the papers. Gemma said she was gonna pay for the down payment on our house."_

She placed a hand on her stomach.

"_Jax... All this stress is bad for me and the baby. There's got to be an end to it."_

"_I know... Once we get the house, we'll be fine. We'll get all our stuff set up in there. The only time you'll have to be around the club is when you're at work with Gemma, unless you want to be there more. I'll try to spend as much time with you as I can."_

"_Doesn't it get old Jax? I mean, it's like I'm a single mother. You're still going to be at T.M constantly when Abel is born. It's not fair."_

"_I'll find the perfect balance, okay? I promise."_

"_Yeah sure."_

We went back up to bed after that.

**TARA POV**

We got up in time for my ultrasound. Dr. Perkins was there again, which made me giggle. The animosity between him and Jax was just too amusing. When he was scanning my stomach for the heartbeat, the doctor tensed up a little.

"_Uh oh..."_

Automatically Jax's grip on my hand tighten, and I got really shaky. Jax couldn't take his eyes off the doctor.

"_What is it?"_

"_The heartbeat is still there... But it isn't as strong as it should be.. Nowhere as strong as it needs to be... It could be a hereditary defect, or maybe if you're really overworking or stressing. It causes a lot of tension on the baby, and all of their organs."_

I sighed heavily to myself.

"_It's the stress. It's gotta be." _

Jax looked at me with a guilty expression.

"_It's the family flaw. Gemma has it, Thomas died from it... I have it, it's just a passive trait for me."_

The doctor cleared his throat.

"_I suggest you don't put yourself in situations...,"_ he glared at Jax then kept going, _"... that could stress the baby out. It'll put too much strain on the heart. You mix that with the family flaw, and then the baby is gone... I'd like to see you back in here about 5 days from now so we can check and see if there has been any improvement."_

"_That'll be fine. Now... I've been throwing up. A lot. I thought that ended by the start of the second trimester."_

"_It should. How frequently are you puking?"_

"_Every morning... sometimes after lunch... any time I get worked up..."_

"_Well since you haven't really been gaining much weight since the last time you were in, and you're throwing up so much, I'll prescribe you some marijuana for medicinal purposes. It'll help with the nausea and will help keep you relaxed."_

Jax looked disturbed.

"_No. That's not going to happen. I won't have her all stoned when she's pregnant. It'll harm the baby."_

"_No it won't. Marijuana isn't a tobacco product. It can't harm the baby at all. This is what she needs. If she doesn't. She'll keep vomiting. She won't gain enough weight, which means the baby won't... Plus with all the stress, this is the best thing for her."_

I looked at Jax and just gave him a nod. I'd be willing to do anything to get the baby big and healthy. After the ultrasound, we signed the papers for our new house, and gave them our down payment, courtesy of Gemma.

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**~Reviews pleaseeeeeeeeeeee~**


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